Issues with residential time are among the most worrisome aspects of divorce. According to Washington state law, if you have a minor child, you have the right and the responsibility to have a relationship with your child and to contribute to your child’s upbringing, regardless of how you feel about your ex and regardless of whether you and your ex have ever been legally married to each other. A Seattle parenting plans lawyer can help you draft a parenting plan and establish a peaceful co-parenting relationship with your ex-spouse.
Parenting Time and Decision-Making Authority
The first step to resolving matters of residential time in your divorce case is to remove the word “custody” from your vocabulary, as it’s no longer used in Washington state, along with winning and losing custody. With good reason, too.
Raising your children after divorce is not about winning or losing, and if you treat parenting as a competition or combat sport with your ex-spouse, everyone will suffer, most of all your children. Residential time is a meaningful legal concept, but its meaning is not always obvious.
The law recognizes the difference between residential time and decision-making authority. Residential time refers to the child living in the parent’s residence with the parent. Decision-making authority refers to the parent (or parents) with the authority to make decisions on behalf of the child.
If you have ever signed a form at your child’s doctor’s office or a field trip permission slip for your child’s school, you have exercised decision-making authority. The goal of the family law courts in Washington state is to divide residential time and decision-making authority between the parents in a way that both parents find acceptable or that the court finds to be in the children’s best interests. This is accomplished through a parenting plan.
Parenting Plans
Every minor child must have a parenting plan if his or her parents do not live together. If you have minor children, the court will not finalize your divorce without issuing one.
The parenting plan addresses every aspect of parenting time and decision-making except for the financial aspects. Part of the parenting plan is a calendar that indicates which parent will be with the children on which day during the year.
There are many different possibilities for how to divide parenting time. In some families, the children are with Mom on school nights and with Dad on weekend nights. Families with very young children might even rotate parenting time on a weekly basis or a 2-2-3-2-2-3 schedule. If the parents live road-trip distance or plane-ride distance apart, then one parent usually has many more days of parenting time than the other during the school year, while the other parent has more time during school breaks and holidays.
The calendar can be as detailed as you make it; for example, you can choose which parent is with the children on Thanksgiving, which is on Black Friday, and which is on President’s Day weekend. You don’t have to choose a specific holiday schedule, and you can add holidays not included in the form if your family celebrates other holidays or special events that are not included by default. The point is to prevent conflict later on; ambiguity in parenting plans is a recipe for trouble.
As for decision-making, the parenting plan apportions authority for non-financial parenting decisions between the parents. Which parent has the final say about the children’s education? Which parent decides about the children’s non-emergency medical care? Who casts the deciding vote about extracurricular activities?
How Do You Get a Parenting Plan?
When a couple with minor children files for divorce or when an unmarried couple petitions the court to issue a parenting plan, the court refers them to mediation. During mediation, a professional mediator facilitates negotiations between you and your ex. You can and should hire a lawyer to represent you in divorce and parenting plan mediation, but you are not legally obligated to do so.
Once you agree to the terms of the parenting plan, both spouses, their lawyers, and the mediator sign it and submit it to the judge. Once the judge signs it, it becomes a court order, and failure to follow it means violating a court order, which could result in the court holding you in contempt and awarding financial sanctions against you or giving the other parent make-up parenting time.
If you and your ex cannot agree on the details of your parenting plan during mediation, the case goes to trial. There, the court will make findings about the children’s best interests. You may present documents and summon witnesses to testify on your behalf to persuade the judge to award you the parenting time that you are requesting.
What a Judge Does and Does Not Consider
The factors the judge considers are whether either parent has a significant problem that impacts their ability to parent, like substance abuse, a history of domestic violence, or neglect of parenting duties, and the strength, nature, and stability of the children’s relationship with each parent, each parent’s past and potential for future performance of parenting duties, the emotional and developmental needs of the child, the child’s relationship with siblings and other significant adults and their involvement with their community, school, and other activities, the parents’ employment schedules, and any agreements the parents have made. The court can consider “the wishes of a child who is sufficiently mature to express reasoned and independent preferences as to his or her residential schedule,” but there is no specific age where this “kicks in,” and the court is never required to consider what a child wants.
The parent’s gender never plays a role in parenting plan decisions. Judges do not assume, for example, that toddlers are always better off with their mothers and teen boys are always better off with their fathers.
Resolving Co-Parenting Disputes With Your Ex
Because the parenting plan is a court order, you can go back to court to enforce or modify it if problems arise. For example, the court can hold a parent in contempt if the parent fails to exercise their parenting time or prevents the other parent from being with the children on the days that the parenting plan indicates.
It should be noted that modifying a parenting plan is not a given. Generally, there has to be a “substantial change in circumstances” so that the parenting plan is no longer in the child’s best interest unless the change is minor.
Parents choose to modify their parenting plans for many reasons, but some common reasons include a parent moving to a new residence or getting a new job, children entering a new school, or high-conflict situations where the parents want the court to issue a parenting plan where they do not have to deal directly with each other.
In cases where a child’s safety is at risk, such as where there is evidence of domestic violence or a parent’s drug use, the court might order one parent to have supervised parenting time, which means that another adult must also be present when the parent is with the children.
Supervised parenting time is often temporary, but it can be permanent depending on the circumstances. Furthermore, there’s no requirement that the plan be reevaluated at any particular cadence. Usually, courts will give the parent whose time is supervised some avenues, such as completing evaluations and classes or having X number of visits successfully, to increase their parenting time or have the supervision removed.
Contact a Seattle family law attorney about creating a parenting plan.
A parenting plan is one of the most important aspects of a divorce in which children are involved. Having experienced counsel by your side can, therefore, be a huge asset.
At Elise Buie Family Law, our team of skilled family law attorneys understands how stressful a divorce with children can be and how critical a parenting plan is for the success of your co-parenting relationship and, with that, your children.
We can help you draft or modify an existing family plan. Contact us today at our Seattle office or book a time to talk.
