Are You Furious? A Guide

Are you feeling angry? Many of the same issues that led to divorce may resurface and could be exacerbated by the divorce process. What is a person to do when they are a on the receiving end of their soon-to-be-ex’s anger, blame or hostility, and how should you deal with your own anger?

  • Recognize the Emotion: Everyone gets angry. Embrace and name the feeling, don’t suppress it and don’t let it fester. Your emotions are valid. Call the feeling what it is and allow yourself the room to feel it. Be honest with yourself.
  • Ask Why: Identity the source of the anger; is there a specific root cause? If there is, is there something in your power you can do to change it?
  • Separate Action from Emotion: Feeling angry is valid, but people often react to their emotions in a way that is less than ideal. Take deep breaths or remove yourself from the situation until you are able to react and respond in way that is not governed by your emotions. Learn to respond without anger.
  • Use your Feelings: Use your extra feeling to your benefit. Exercise, listen to angry music, talk to a friend, a counselor, journal or make a list but express and vent your feelings in a positive and healthy way.
  • Stay away from your triggers: Find out what pushes your buttons and find ways to address or resolve these issues. You may be able to set communication ground rules to help prevent some of these issues from arising.
  • Let it go: Holding on to anger, resentment and a desire to punish almost always ends up hurting you more than the other person. It takes time to recovery from divorce. Give yourself room to grow, to heal and to move past your anger, into a positive place.

Because we focus solely on family law, we understand the dynamics of high-conflict divorce and can help guide you through the process. Please contact Elise Buie Family Law Group, PLLC for a free consultation regarding your divorce. For more information about collaborative divorce or mediation please visit our website


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