Can Divorce Make you a Better Mom? A Better Dad?

The choice to divorce outside of traditional litigation can be faster, cheaper, easier, and demonstrate both sanity and family stability to the children.  Whether you call it collaborative divorce, cooperative divorce, conscious uncoupling, or just amicable co-parenting – I like to call it “acting like grown ups by those who decided to bring children into the world”, people are deciding to make divorce more about their kids than about themselves.  What a novel concept?


The research is clear, it is not the 2 houses that mess with kids psychologically, it’s the high conflict between the parents.  So, a cooperative approach to divorce can give kids a better chance at a healthy post-divorce psychology. 


Many people also discover that this approach makes them better parents as a result of getting a divorce.


How can divorce make you a better parent?


As part of the divorce settlement, a parenting plan is created. It determines:

  • Where the children will live
  • How much time each parent spends with the children
  • How decisions will be made for the children
  • How parenting disagreements will be handled


Often, divorce can be a wake-up call to one or both people about their parenting; past and future.


Divorce can help one be a better parent in certain circumstances:

  • Divorce can jump start parents who were virtually absent before.
  • Once the fights cease between the parents, often there is more time to parent, to play, and to enjoy the children.
  • Divorce often gives each parent more 1-1 time with their children.
  • Sometimes you learn that your ex-spouse may be a “………..” spouse but a great Mom or Dad
  • A little self-reflection, a lot of counseling make for happier, healthier parents.


Find an attorney who supports your goal to put your child’s emotional health ahead of your own anger and bitterness.  Don’t settle for an attorney who just doesn’t understand your motivation.

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