Communicating with your Angry Ex

Gun Safety and Domestic Violence in Washington

As divorce attorneys are well versed in the numerous and varied reasons that couples split. Many of the same issues that led to divorce may resurface and could be exacerbated by the divorce process. What is a person to do when they are again on the receiving end of their soon-to-be-ex’s anger, blame or hostility?

People who frequently use this type of attack are known as “high conflict”; they stir up conflict wherever they go. It can be very difficult to separate yourself from their inability to control themselves, and respond without getting defensive. Here are some of our top tips for dealing with your angry ex during divorce:

  • Limit your Contact: The best way to avoid trouble with an angry ex is to limit communication. If you must have face-to-face interactions keep them short; email is even better. Keep your communication concise. This can be difficult, particularly where emotions run high during divorce. We often help review our client’s email communication to the other party before they are sent. See our website re conflict communication. Write your email, step away to cool down, and then come back; making sure it is as brief as possible.

  • Just the Facts: Present information in a clear, informative way. Keep emotion and opinion to a minimum. Ask yourself why you are responding, and what is the message your need to get across. If you need a reply or specific information It is perfectly reasonable to be firm and set deadlines.

  • Remember your Manners: Remember to keep the tone friendly. You may disagree about everything, your ex may be a terror, but a thank you can go a long way. It can be extremely difficult to thank someone who is blaming, accusing and hostile but an “I appreciate you letting me know about your concerns” immediately changes the tone of the exchange; making them more open to what you have to say.

Because we focus solely on family law, we understand the dynamics of high-conflict divorce and can help guide you through the process. Please contact Elise Buie Family Law Group, PLLC for a consultation regarding your divorce. For more information about collaborative divorce or mediation please visit our website. 

STAY UP TO DATE

Subscribe to our newsletters

 
Subscribe to one or more of our newsletters, delivering meaningful insight on topics that matter to you and your family.
ebl home subscribe image

FURTHER READING

Latest Blog Posts

Gifting an estate plan is an act of love because an estate plan goes far beyond material possessions, addressing the emotional, practical, and long-term well-being of your loved ones.

Prenuptial agreements (also known as prenups) can play a pivotal role in safeguarding individual spousal rights in the event of divorce and can also strengthen a marriage.

Valentine’s Day can be tricky for single parents, maybe even you. Unpartnered, at least for the time being, you might not foresee your plans fitting into conventional images of the holiday. But that doesn’t have to be. Valentine’s Day, when you’re single, can be more than a day you need to survive. It can be a day to look forward to.

Collaborative law has evolved into a globally practiced
discipline, extending well beyond the realm of family law, and is used frequently in Seattle divorces.

Classifying January as divorce month could be misleading, given how some of the numbers tell a different story. However, one thing remains clear: January is a great time for a fresh start.

A family law attorney can help with child custody (residential time) by creating or modifying a parenting plan.

Given the importance of the trustee’s role in an estate plan, it is necessary to understand the responsibilities before choosing a trustee or accepting the obligation to become one.

If you and your partner reside in Washington state and are unmarried, you each might qualify for the legal protections availed to you by law by classifying your relationship as a committed intimate relationship.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your family is to build an estate plan while you are alive and well. Estate planning allows you to formally communicate your wishes so they will not be up for interpretation by…

A co-executor can help facilitate the distribution of assets, minimize conflicts, and provide much-needed support to grieving families.