Communicating with your Angry Ex

Gun Safety and Domestic Violence in Washington

As divorce attorneys are well versed in the numerous and varied reasons that couples split. Many of the same issues that led to divorce may resurface and could be exacerbated by the divorce process. What is a person to do when they are again on the receiving end of their soon-to-be-ex’s anger, blame or hostility?

People who frequently use this type of attack are known as “high conflict”; they stir up conflict wherever they go. It can be very difficult to separate yourself from their inability to control themselves, and respond without getting defensive. Here are some of our top tips for dealing with your angry ex during divorce:

  • Limit your Contact: The best way to avoid trouble with an angry ex is to limit communication. If you must have face-to-face interactions keep them short; email is even better. Keep your communication concise. This can be difficult, particularly where emotions run high during divorce. We often help review our client’s email communication to the other party before they are sent. See our website re conflict communication. Write your email, step away to cool down, and then come back; making sure it is as brief as possible.

  • Just the Facts: Present information in a clear, informative way. Keep emotion and opinion to a minimum. Ask yourself why you are responding, and what is the message your need to get across. If you need a reply or specific information It is perfectly reasonable to be firm and set deadlines.

  • Remember your Manners: Remember to keep the tone friendly. You may disagree about everything, your ex may be a terror, but a thank you can go a long way. It can be extremely difficult to thank someone who is blaming, accusing and hostile but an “I appreciate you letting me know about your concerns” immediately changes the tone of the exchange; making them more open to what you have to say.

Because we focus solely on family law, we understand the dynamics of high-conflict divorce and can help guide you through the process. Please contact Elise Buie Family Law Group, PLLC for a consultation regarding your divorce. For more information about collaborative divorce or mediation please visit our website. 

STAY UP TO DATE

Subscribe to our newsletters

 
Subscribe to one or more of our newsletters, delivering meaningful insight on topics that matter to you and your family.
ebl home subscribe image

FURTHER READING

Latest Blog Posts

A Seattle family law attorney can help if you find you are in a situation where your ex is abusing your pet.

If you are an unmarried couple, a Seattle family law attorney can help you protect your partner through the use of wills and trusts.

A Seattle family law attorney can guide you with next steps should you discover that your spouse has been unfaithful.

An estate planning attorney can help you draft a will or designate some of your property as non-probate assets by creating various trusts.

Not sweating the small stuff is even more important during separation than it is at other times to have an amicable divorce.

Many people delay estate planning because facing sickness and death can be uncomfortable. However, preparation is necessary to have your wishes honored as you intend. With this in mind, consider the following suggestions to stay focused on these estate planning goals.

The thought of how to approach your partner for a divorce can be stressful, even if you believe they will take the news "well.” The upside is there are ways to communicate your intentions that can minimize the uncomfortable feelings you are experiencing while helping to make the conversation go more smoothly.

Probate in Washington state is relatively straightforward, especially with the guidance of a Seattle estate planning attorney at your side. Here is what you need to know.

Unsure where to begin gathering the foundation you need to go through the divorce process with confidence and well-prepared? Consider the following 10 tips to prepare for divorce.

Everyone who has anyone in their life needs an estate plan, even people who own little or no property.