A divorce or other family law trial is a bit like a root canal. It is unpleasant, expensive, and usually unnecessary, except as a last resort. Parenting plans and divorce trials are unpleasant and expensive, to say the least. That is why most family law matters settle out of court. But a divorce trial or parenting plan case, like a root canal, is sometimes necessary.
Some people need a court to intervene in parenting or visitation matters to say, “This is the way it is, and what the court says goes.” Other couples are so far apart on property division, spousal support, and other financial matters that a settlement is impossible. As experienced Seattle family law attorneys who’ve gone to trial countless times, here are a few tips for how to prepare for an emotional courtroom showdown over financial and/or emotional issues.
Find the Right Lawyer
Trial preparation for clients is a process, and this process begins with finding the right attorney. Though it’s smart to want a strong negotiator since so many family law cases settle out of court, you should also look for a strong litigator if settlement efforts are not successful. What does that look like?
- Experience: Many attorneys have trial experience in criminal cases, personal injury cases, or some other legal area. But family law is unique. Therefore, your Seattle family law attorney should have trial experience in this area.
- Dedication: As mentioned earlier, family law is unlike other areas of law. The trial tactics that work in other types of trials often don’t work in family law trials. If a substantial portion of the lawyer’s practice is not devoted to family law, keep looking.
- Compassion and Empathy: We mentioned understanding for first-timers above. Compassion is actionable, not merely a feeling. The same holds for empathy. Your attorney should embrace and embody both.
If you interview an attorney who doesn’t have any of the above skills or is missing one or two, keep looking. Your Seattle family law attorney is out there.
Understand the Stakes
If you’re reading this blog, you probably already understand what’s at stake in your case. But the stakes in family law matters are so high that they always bear repeating.
- Property Division: Washington is a community property state, but that does not mean property is divided 50/50. In Washington, community property (property acquired during the marriage) is divided “equitably.” Equitably does not necessarily mean equally. Also, Washington courts consider whether either spouse owns separate property. Separate property typically includes property acquired before marriage, by gifts, and as inheritance.
- Spousal Support: Usually, the court orders spousal support based on the obligee’s financial need and the obligor’s ability to pay. “Need” and “ability” are subjective words with different meanings in different contexts.
- Parenting Plans and Child Support: The court must issue orders in this area based on the best interests of the child.
Regardless of what is specifically at stake in your case, attorneys and clients alike must focus on the issues. Remember that a trial is not a forum to air dirty laundry or hurt the other parent financially or emotionally.
Understand Your Case
Your Seattle family law attorney is your legal advocate, and therefore needs to fully and accurately understand your unique situation. Before trial, the attorney needs to understand points such as:
- The stability of your child’s home environment when in your care,
- The scope of your involvement in your child’s life,
- Any background relevant to parenting (e.g., special needs of the children, if any), and
- The nature of the co-parenting dynamic so far.
Supplemental Organization
Most people focus on the organization necessary for discovery, the information exchange process that precedes a trial. But there are far more details to keep track of in a Washington divorce.
Interactions with teachers are a good example. You should keep track of such details as email correspondence and the number of times you logged onto a gradebook or other school website. This effort can save your attorney time and may strengthen your case.
A parenting journal is likewise a good example. If you are not keeping a journal, start one. Record interactions with the other parent, who does what for your child, and who said what to whom. In other words, document as much as you can about what life is like for you and your children during this time.
Watch Your Step
Out-of-court behavior often affects in-court results. You should, therefore, keep a watchful eye on social media posts, personal behavior, and legal matters. Your involvement in each could have a negative bearing on your case.
Careless social media posts can be damaging emotionally and legally during the divorce trial process. Likes and posts can prompt retaliation, which engenders further reactions and a downward spiral. People who cannot control themselves online look like bad parents. As for personal behavior, create a safe and secure space for your child.
Also, work with your Seattle family law attorney to keep the lines of communication open with the other side and continue settlement negotiations, if appropriate. Parents who try to work out their differences on their own before they go to court often have an advantage should a judge have to intervene.
The Big Day
A few final words about courtroom decorum and procedure. Dress nicely, but appropriately. Avoid shorts and short skirts, but do not overdress. On a related note, behave appropriately as well.
There is no talking in the courtroom, and no eating or drinking, except for a glass or bottle of water. If you bring people for moral support, they can sit in the gallery, as long as they obey the rules of decorum, too. Witnesses usually must wait outside.
Practice self-control after the trial as well. Before you do anything, think about how your ex-spouse could use this against you in the future. Ideally, ex-spouses should not be vindictive. But some do have their moments.
Work With a Dedicated Seattle Divorce Lawyer
Preparing for a court battle is like putting the right icing on a cake. At Elise Buie Family Law, our team of Seattle family law attorneys has extensive experience handling divorces ranging from amicable to contentious and everything in between. We are here to help you address the unique issues in your case. Contact us today or schedule a convenient time to speak.
