Now what? Divorce? Work? Kids? You own your own business? This is WAY too much to think about………
We both know better than that – you can do it!
What you need is education, support and a plan – in that order.
The one main catch is that you are likely on wild emotional roller coaster and your kids’ lives feel like they are hanging in the balance. Minor details………
Education:
Here are some books to read to get you started on the education piece…………(I’ll post some books on parenting in the near future)
A Guide To Divorce Mediation: How to Reach a Fair, Legal Settlement at a Fraction of the Cost, by Gary J. Friedman, J.D. Workman Publishing (1993).
Between Love and Hate: A Guide to a Civilized Divorce, by Lois Gold. Plume Books; Reprint edition (January 1, 1996).
Choosing a Divorce Mediator: A Guide to Help Divorcing Couples Find a Competent Mediator, by Diane Neumann. Henry Holt & Company; 1st Owl book Ed edition (January 1, 1997).
Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce & Building a New Life, by Abigail Trafford. Harper Perennial (1993).
Divorce and Money: How to Make the Best Financial Decisions During Divorce, by Violet Woodhouse, Victoria Collins, M.C. Blakeman. Nolo.com; 5th edition (June 1, 2000).
For Better or For Worse. by E. Mavis Hetherington and John Kelly. W. W. Norton (2002).
Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life: A Reasoned, Practical Guide to the Legal, Emotional and Financial Ins and Outs of Negotiating a Divorce, by Sam Margulies, Ph.D., J.D. Fireside; Rev&Updtd edition (December 4, 2001).
Graceful Divorce Solutions: A Comprehensive and Proactive Guide to Saving You Time, Money, and Your Sanity, by M. Marcy Jones J.D. BCH Fulfillment & Distribution (February 1, 2010).
How to Avoid the Divorce from Hell: And Dance Together at Your Daughter’s Wedding, by M. Sue Talia. Nexus Publishing Company (CA) (October, 2004).
Imperfect Control: Our Lifelong Struggles With Power and Surrender, by Judith Viorst. Free Press (March 1, 1999).
Learning from Divorce: How to Take Responsibility, Stop the Blame, and Move On! by Christine A. Coates, J.D., & E. Robert LaCrosse, Ph.D., Jossey-Bass; 1st edition (August 22, 2003).
Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow, by Judith Viorst. Free Press; Reprint edition (January 5, 1998).
Second Chances, by Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blackslee. Mariner Books; Revised edition (August 1, 1996).
The Good Divorce, by Constance Ahrons. Quill; Reprint edition (1998).
Through the Eyes of Children, by Janet R. Johnston, Ph.D., Karen Breunig, M.S., Carla Garrity, Ph.D., Mitchell Baris, Ph.D. Simon & Schuster, Inc. (1997).
Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce, by Diana Mercer. Fireside (2001).
Support:
Get a shrink and an attorney. In that order. Don’t hire an excellent sheep!
Hire an attorney who will give you their cell number because I can assure you that life happens around the clock!
We have our office structured in such a way that one of us is always available to respond to you when you need us. Call, text, email – we will respond.
This is the event of a lifetime – you are involved in the most important negotiation you can ever imagine – your kids psychological health and your financial well-being.
Do not think that you can do this without the counselor, you can’t and more importantly, you shouldn’t.
Your support team could include a child specialist, an accountant, a forensic business evaluator and others……….You need it, we will find it for you.
The Plan:
We will help you craft a plan so that you can envision the results you desire – free from an abusive spouse, free from a loveless marriage, better equipped to handle to your finances and empowered to move on into your better life. You can do it!
I know you can!
