Top 4 Things Your Kids Need During Divorce

 Divorce brings new obstacles and you may be struggling through this difficult, emotional and transformative time in your life. Being a parent is hard, divorcing can be trying, and we all put so much guilt on ourselves not meeting the perfectionist parenting goals we have while we do the best we can.

So, while you may need to let the gourmet meals and tidy rooms slide while you get your feet under you, here is what you should prioritize.

What Your Kids Really Need During Divorce:

  • Love & Reassurance: Children need to understand that they are loved, and they are allowed to love those important to them in return. They need reassurance that they are not to blame for the breakup. Remember that as much as you may dislike your spouse, your children are “half-them” and negative attitudes towards them can affect your children. Kids need to know they can trust and count on their parents now more than ever.

  • Open Communication: Your children need to know they can come to you for answers. They may have many conflicting emotions, reactions and desires. Let them know it is ok for them to talk to you, and ok for them to talk to your ex. Encourage them to reach out to friends, teachers or counselors for support.

  • Consistency & Structure: Where new patterns are put in place it critical to have clear expectations, rules and routines. To the extent possible try to find shared ground with your ex regarding discipline and scheduling.

  • To be Kids: Your children are just that, your kids. Even as they grow into the teenage years it is important to remember that the co-parent will always be their parent. Your child should not be your confidant, your spy, your ally, your messenger, your counselor or your sounding board.

Looking for assistance navigating your divorce or other family law matter in the Greater Seattle Area? At Elise Buie Family Law Group our knowledgeable family law attorneys are ready to help. Please contact Elise Buie Family Law Group, PLLC for a free consultation. For more information about collaborative divorce or mediation please visit our website. 


Subscribe to our newsletters

Subscribe to one or more of our newsletters, delivering meaningful insight on topics that matter to you and your family.


Latest Blog Posts

There are various ways to plan for the handling of your remains after death, as we discussed in Part I of “How to Handle Remains in Washington State.” What option you choose will likely turn on some combination of your…

Death is a part of life. Like taxes, there's no avoiding it. Also, like taxes, you may not like thinking or talking about the subject. However, if you think about death and how to handle your remains from a planning…

Every child deserves love, stability, and consistency. Is there a child in your life that you have considered adopting, perhaps because they are the child of your spouse or a child you are fostering? Perhaps there is an adult in…

The thought of losing your home or its contents in a disaster is a scary thought. Loss of life, destruction of irreplaceable items such as home movies, photos, and heirlooms make it unconscionable. But as we know in life, sometimes…

Spoiler alert: If you’re doing everything around the house (or at work) because you’re living (working) with a bunch of incompetent fools, or so they’ve led you to believe they are, you’re being manipulated. So pervasive is this phenomenon, there’s…

If you've created an estate plan, you've already spent a good deal of time thinking about what will happen to you if you become sick, incapacitated, or die, including where you will go (literally) when you die. After all, you don't want your…

If you're 18 or older and live in Washington State, you can legally change your name to anything you want as long as you're not doing so to commit fraud. For example, if your goal is to change your name to evade…

Your estate plan should ensure your special needs child experiences the best quality of life they can, that the assets upon which they will rely will last as long as possible during their lifetime, and that their eligibility for public services will be maximized. Learn more.

Popular culture is using the moniker "America's daughter" to describe Gabby Petito because she could've been any of our daughters. Learn how to talk to your daughter about the signs of domestic abuse.

When a couple decides to divorce, and one spouse is unable to support themselves, spousal support becomes a hot-button issue. Learn how to mitigate conflict and move forward.