Let’s face it: not every situation will work out, even when we have the best intentions. The same holds for negotiations in a collaborative divorce, despite its history and track record for success. Sometimes, discussions break down despite this method being premised on a commitment to settling a divorce amicably. When talks cease, the collaborative divorce process halts, and divorcing spouses must regroup to consider their next steps. If you are worried about this happening during the collaborative process or it has already happened, this is what will come next.
You and your spouse must formally end the collaborative process.
Collaborative divorce depends on open communication and cooperation for it to succeed. Therefore, if you and your spouse can no longer reach an agreement on the issues in your case, you must end the process. Ending the collaborative process involves more than saying, “See ya in court.” Instead, you and your spouse must sign an agreement that establishes you will no longer utilize the collaborative method to dissolve your marriage.
Decide between court or mediation.
Speaking of court, though it can sound tough to say that you will see your spouse in court, or if you’re hearing it from your spouse, causing you to feel afraid, understand that court is not your only option at this juncture in your divorce. Despite the collaborative process breaking down, you can still mediate your divorce.
Mediators are not part of the collaborative process. However, mediators like collaborative divorce lawyers are important in settling divorces amicably. Though a mediator won’t be able to provide you and your spouse with legal advice, a mediator can suggest how to reach an agreement if you are stuck on a certain point or several points.
Because a mediator cannot offer legal advice and is solely a neutral facilitator, you should consider hiring independent legal counsel to represent your interests. Your spouse should do the same. This lawyer must be someone new, not the collaboratively trained lawyers you each retained previously.
If you and your spouse are still amenable to it, attempting mediation before heading to court can be helpful. By mediating your divorce, you maintain control of your situation, whereas if you have a judge rule on the issues, their ruling, whether you like it or not, will reign supreme.
Court can also be much more costly than mediation and cause your divorce to take longer. Though similar to mediation in that you don’t need a lawyer to use the court system, hiring an experienced litigator to support you throughout a high-conflict divorce necessitating court is best. Again, your lawyer must differ from the lawyer you used during the collaborative process.
Understand why you must find new legal representation when the collaborative process breaks down.
Collaborative lawyers become privy to information during the collaborative process that they might not have under ordinary circumstances, which precludes them from becoming your counsel in a non-collaborative divorce setting. Finding new representation is a requirement for using the collaborative process should it break down, and you should have agreed to this term when you began the collaborative process.
Consider the financial and emotional costs.
When collaborative negotiations break down, it can lead to increased costs in more ways than one. For starters, it can be expensive to hire new lawyers, and the search for a new lawyer may take time. Once you find another divorce attorney, in some ways, you may find yourself taking a few steps back in the divorce process since your lawyer and your spouse’s lawyer will have to get up to speed on your case. Mediation, though less money than court, also has a cost.
On another note, breakdowns in negotiations can cause stress. If you and your spouse are divorcing, you have likely already been under emotional strain, and reaching a stalemate can exacerbate that. As an aside, if you don’t have a mental health professional, such as a therapist, as part of your divorce team, it may be a good time to consider one. A divorce lawyer with deep ties to their community should have a network of referrals they can offer you.
Recognize the effect a delay in resolution can have on the case.
When you must move to litigation or decide to try other alternative dispute resolution methods before that, recognize it can prolong the divorce process significantly. Once you shift gears, you may face scheduling conflicts, busy court schedules, further discovery, and new negotiations, adding time to an already stressful and costly situation.
There may be a silver lining, however. Sometimes, when divorcing spouses break from negotiations for a bit and have time to reevaluate their positions or consider the costs associated with not going through the collaborative process, they may decide to try it again.
Find a Seattle collaborative divorce attorney or divorce attorney for your divorce following the breakdown of the collaborative process.
No divorce is easy, even the amicable ones where divorcing spouses decide to try the collaborative process. Like anything else, there are no guarantees, so it helps to know what may be next in your divorce and your options.
Whether you are embarking on the collaborative divorce process, want to learn more about it, or the collaborative divorce process hasn’t worked for you, we can help. At Elise Buie Family Law, we have a team of divorce attorneys trained in the collaborative method and divorce lawyers trained in mediation and litigation. Which approach you decide to take in your divorce is also something we can help you with.
Apart from strategizing, we also have a vast network of professionals, including therapists, financial professionals, and divorce coaches, to which we can offer you access. This can help streamline the divorce process and provide you with legal and emotional support throughout it and afterward. Call us at our Seattle location or use this link to schedule a time to talk.
