13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

Collaborative Law for Prenuis

Before walking down the aisle with your new spouse it is important to have a heart-to-heart conversation regarding some fundamentals of your relationship. Open, honest and frequent communication with your soon-to-be spouse can pave the way to a wonderful relationship; and the NY Times has some suggestions as to the the most important topics to cover before your big day. To visit their full article click here.


As the Times says “The following questions, intimate and sometimes awkward, are designed to spark honest discussions and possibly give couples a chance to spill secrets before it’s too late.”


  1. Did your family throw plates, calmly discuss issues or silently shut down when disagreements arose? Conflict resolution can be key to a long-lasting relationship.

  2. Will we have children, and if we do, will you change diapers? This topic hits some big ones-will you have kids, and if so, how will the work of those children be split?

  3. Will our experiences with our ex’s help or hinder us?

  4. How important is Religion?

  5. Will your debt be my debt?

  6. How much are you willing to spend on a car, couch shoes? You should be on the same page regarding your spending

  7. Can you deal with my doing things without you? You should have a shared idea of what level of autonomy and privacy you both need.

  8. Do we like each other’s parents?

  9. How important is sex to you?

  10. How far should we take flirting with other people? Is watching pornography ok? This often cause conflict later and it is best to address these issues with shared expectations early on.

  11. Do you know all the ways I say “I love you”? (check out The Five Love Languages book)

  12. What do you admire most about me, and what are your pet peeves?

  13. How do you see us 10 years from now?

A prenuptial agreement may also be helpful in building this foundation of honesty and open communication, by discussing finances and expectations before, rather than after marriage. For assistance establishing a prenuptial agreement speak with one of our Washington State Family Law Attorneys at Elise Buie Family Law Group, PLLC.  We provide free consultations to help get you started with planning your prenup today. 

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