Like most things in life, single parenting has its ups and downs. There will be good days when you feel like a superhero and days when you feel like nothing’s going right and nothing you say or do is right. That said, by zeroing in on a few areas, it is possible to make your daily life easier and, because of that, more enjoyable for you and your kids. Here are a few suggestions for how.
Shed the invincible attitude and find your people.
You are a single parent, so you need to be strong — and you may already be (or are getting there). If this is you, kudos. Remember, though, that you’re still human and not invincible.
Meaning no one should have to do it all alone, including you. As a single parent, having a strong support network can make a world of difference. Even if you lack support right now from the obvious places, support is out there if you know where to look.
Your dream team of supporters might very well include family, friends, and neighbors. But it can also be from people you don’t know well, such as other single parents who share some understanding of your situation. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from these people when you need it, whether it’s for childcare, emotional support, or “just” someone to talk to.
Pro-tip: Having confidants who “get” you can be a game-changer for keeping you from feeling isolated and alone. Consider joining local or online support groups. There, you can share experiences and get advice from others who are similarly situated. Schools and community centers likewise often have resources and programs specifically for single parents.
By surrounding yourself with a robust network, you’ll have people to lean on during tough times and celebrate with during the good ones. They can also direct you to important resources to further assist you in taking control and simplifying your life, such as a Seattle family law attorney, divorce coach, realtor, organizational specialist, financial professional, and anyone else you might be looking for. Speaking of financial professionals …
Create a financial plan you can stick to.
When you’re a single parent, managing finances can be a source of overwhelm, especially if it’s new to you or your budget has changed substantially sue to your divorce. With some basic planning and strategizing, though, you can lay the foundation for you and your family to enjoy a stable financial future.
Start by getting a grasp of your financial picture. To that end, compile all your financial documents in one place, list your sources of income, and figure out your monthly expenses. All of them, even the ones that seem insignificant, because little purchases can add up fast. Doing so will give you a clear overview of where your money is coming from and where it’s going.
Next, create a budget outlining your income and expenses and make a point to stick to it as closely as possible. Look for ways to reduce costs, such as cutting back on unnecessary spending, shopping smarter (e.g., looking for sales at the grocery store or finding more affordable alternatives), and meal prepping.
Building an emergency fund should likewise be a priority. An emergency fund, designed to cover at least three to six months of expenses, is essentially a safety net for unexpected occurrences, which you should expect to occur.
If you have debt, develop a plan to pay it off. This might involve negotiating lower interest rates on loans and credit cards, consolidating debt, or setting up payment plans.
Consider also advice from a financial advisor who can help you create a plan tailored to your situation. If you don’t currently have one, your support network, mentioned above, might be able to offer recommendations. Or you can ask a Seattle family law attorney, who should have a network of resources at their disposal to share with you.
Design a kid-friendly daily routine.
Children not only thrive on routine; they crave it. A consistent daily schedule can offer children a feeling of security and structure they may have lacked since their parents’ divorce.
As you consider your children’s wants and needs, create a routine that fits your family’s current lifestyle and budget. The routine should successfully balance your work schedule, children’s schooling and extracurricular activities, and leisure activities. Set aside regular times for meals, homework, playtime, and bedtime.
Involve your kids in the planning process to give them a sense of ownership and responsibility. Use visual aids like colorful charts or calendars to help younger children understand the schedule and leave them out where the entire family can see them.
Finally, don’t forget to be flexible. Life happens, and sometimes, you’ll find you must adjust your routine. That’s OK. The goal is to create a balanced day that keeps everyone on track while leaving ample room for fun and relaxation, including the occasional weekend getaway or vacation.
Indulge in guilt-free self-care moments.
The operative words here are guilt-free. Too many times, single parents begrudge themselves of self-care because they believe there isn’t time, money, or value in it.
Taking care of yourself, however, isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. As a single parent, it’s easy to put your needs last, but maintaining your well-being is as important for your family’s health and happiness as it is for your own. So schedule regular self-care moments into your day, whether it’s to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee or tea, read a book, take a relaxing bath, or engage in a hobby you love.
Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself, either. Self-care helps you recharge your battery, reduce stress, and improve your overall mood, making you a more patient and present parent. By taking care of yourself, you’ll be better equipped to care for your children, career, and home and continue planning for a bright future.
Master the art of time management.
Balancing work, parenting, and personal time can feel like a juggling act, one you’re not always very adept at. Fortunately, effective time management can help keep everything running smoothly, at least most of the time.
To manage your time efficiently and effectively, prioritize your tasks from most to least important and set realistic goals for each day. Use tools like a wall or digital calendar, planner, or apps to stay organized and track appointments, deadlines, and activities.
Break down your to-do list into bite-size chunks and approach it one task at a time. Additionally, delegate chores and responsibilities to your children according to their age and abilities. Everyone, even young children, can help. Teaching them to pitch in lightens your load while instilling in them a sense of responsibility and teamwork.
Schedule downtime for yourself and your kids when everyone can do what they want (within reason), even if it means nothing. Overloading your schedule and your kids’ can lead to burnout and crankiness (yours and your children’s), so make sure to leave room for relaxation and spontaneous fun. This breaks up the monotony and creates excitement, which is helpful in stress-filled environments.
Have heart-to-heart conversations with your kids.
Maintaining frequent, open, and honest communication with your children is necessary for building a strong, trusting relationship. So, regularly encourage your kids to express their thoughts and feelings and remind them they can always come to you to talk.
If your children aren’t the type to communicate this way, set aside time to talk. Then, listen without judgment. Your conversations should be held at a time and place that feels safe for your children (and you) to share and ask questions.
Use age-appropriate language to explain family dynamics and any changes that may be happening. Be honest but also reassuring. Let your children know that it’s OK to feel a range of emotions and that you’re there to support them.
Check in regularly with your kids to see how they’re doing and address any concerns they might have. A commitment to quality time together allows space for meaningful conversations and bonding opportunities, whether during meals, playtime, bathtime, or bedtime.
Seek out professional support when you need it.
There’s no shame in seeking professional help. Whether it’s for yourself or your children, therapists, counselors, and family law attorneys can offer strategies to cope with stress, help with managing emotions, and provide guidance about navigating family challenges.
Educational support services, such as tutoring or special education resources, can additionally help your children succeed academically. This is particularly important where tension at home, including from a divorce, can negatively impact children’s academic performance. Don’t hesitate to contact your child’s school for information on available programs and resources.
If you’re dealing with legal issues, such as residential time arrangements or child support, contact a family law attorney as soon as possible before tensions escalate and potentially compromise your co-parenting relationship. A skilled and experienced Seattle family law attorney can help you understand your rights and options.
A last word: Seeking help is a mark of strength, not weakness. It shows you’re committed to doing what’s best for your family.
Find a Seattle family law attorney to support your single parenting journey.
Single parenting is replete with unique challenges but also unique rewards that can engender a deep sense of accomplishment and gratification. To reap those rewards, you don’t have to walk alone. A Seattle family law attorney can support you in various ways.
From providing legal guidance to sharing their resources and network, a family law attorney can help you create the home and post-divorce future you envision. At Elise Buie Family Law, our team of family law attorneys understands what being a single parent is like and can advise you every step of the way. Call our Seattle office today or schedule a consultation.
