It is likely no surprise that divorce and separation cases are often highly stressful and litigious. Not uncommonly, they deplete the finances of parents only to leave them emotionally drained and unsatisfied with the court-ordered results. Such high-conflict cases often only harm children when the ultimate goal of family law is to promote their best interests. Fortunately, there is another way, and that is collaborative divorce. Collaborative divorce encourages respectful discourse, promotes transparency, prioritizes the needs of the children, and can give the parents more control over the long-term outcomes.
The collaborative approach focuses on peacefully solving problems rather than employing the “fight to win” mentality that regular adversarial family law often entails. By keeping the matter out of the Washington court system and employing a team of experienced professionals (such as mental health counselors, financial experts, parenting specialists, etc.), many parents find that the harm divorce causes them and their children is minimized. The only question remaining is how to find the right Seattle collaborative lawyer for your case. Here are a few suggestions on what to look for.
Ask for referrals and check reviews.
It is often helpful to ask those in your network who have gone through a divorce who they used. However, as you do so, remember that not every divorce lawyer is trained in Washington state collaborative divorces. Beyond that, when comparing collaborative divorce lawyers in Seattle, it is also important to remember that since every divorce case is unique, one person’s negative experience may not reflect their potential to be the right lawyer for your case. They still may be.
You will want to get into the weeds and find out what about their experience made them like and dislike their collaborative divorce attorney. The reason for someone liking their collaborative divorce lawyer could be the precise reason that person wouldn’t be the right lawyer for your case. The point is to ask as many questions about their experience as they will allow you to until you have a complete picture upon which to base your decision-making.
Beyond those in your network, look for the attorneys’ ratings on various platforms. They include Google, Facebook, and Avvo, among others. Again, understand that one person’s negative experience may not reflect the lawyer’s track record and potential to be a match for you. Instead, look for consistent patterns in the referrals and reviews.
Research collaborative law associations.
Beyond referrals and reviews, many collaborative law associations throughout the U.S. are devoted to collaborative law exclusively. Some of these groups may have directories of collaborative divorce attorneys they can share with you to help you direct your search. In Washington state, for example, there are Collaborative Professionals of Washington and King County Collaborative Law, both of which offer resources and reading about collaborative law practice.
Assess lawyers’ experience with collaborative divorce.
Once you have a list of collaborative divorce lawyers you want to speak with, it is time to dive deeper. One of the first factors you should examine is how much experience they have in collaborative law. Ask if they are trained in collaborative law, where they received their training from, how many collaborative divorces they have handled, and their success rate using this method.
Since collaborative law can be applied to multiple areas of law, make sure the lawyer you are interviewing has experience in collaborative divorce, family law, estate planning, and Washington state’s judicial system. Divorce is a multifaceted matter and, as a result, can and usually does involve family law and estate planning issues that are tangential to it. These can include child custody and child support and the need to revise or create an estate plan, both during a divorce proceeding and after it concludes, among many other issues.
Understand your lawyer’s style of negotiating.
Even among collaboratively trained lawyers, there are going to be nuances. After all, no two people are alike, so there are bound to be differences in how lawyers approach their cases. You want to check that a lawyer’s negotiation style will support your goals.
Therefore, during your consultations, you should ask how they handle conflicts and would handle yours if given the opportunity, how they promote cooperation during challenging situations, how they reach amicable resolutions, and what those resolutions can look like.
Evaluate communication style and compatibility.
You can learn a lot about a person simply by conversing with them. This is the best and most useful reason to schedule a consultation with prospective lawyers. Even if the lawyer checks all the other boxes — you were referred to them by someone you trust, they have great reviews, they’re experienced, and you are comfortable with their style of negotiating and strategy they suggest for how to resolve your divorce amicably — if you don’t feel your personalities mesh, i.e., you are not compatible, and the way they communicate doesn’t work for you, they are probably not the right lawyer for you.
When choosing a divorce lawyer — any divorce lawyer, but especially a collaborative divorce lawyer, where patience and strong communication skills are essential for resolving a divorce amicably — it is important that they display these skills to you first. It is not enough to say that they can when the time comes.
The fact that you and your ex have opted for a collaborative divorce speaks volumes about your intentions, and you want to have someone not only advocating for you and your interests but also rooting for you and your ex to continue your amicable relationship well after you leave your marriage, particularly if you will be co-parenting. You want someone who understands why this is important, which requires the most critical skill of all, and that is the ability to be empathetic. When you find a collaborative divorce lawyer who embodies empathy and all of the above characteristics, you will have found your collaborative divorce lawyer.
Find a Seattle collaborative divorce lawyer for an amicable divorce.
Choosing to resolve your divorce using the collaborative method is an effective way to set the stage for an amicable divorce and an amicable post-divorce relationship, underscoring this approach’s significance. Proper training is imperative, as is the embodiment of certain skills.
At Elise Buie Family Law, our team of collaborative divorce attorneys has been trained in the collaborative method and has successfully resolved a vast number of divorces. We recognize how emotionally fraught even the most friendly divorces can be and are here to support you with education, resources, and care. Reach out to us today or schedule a call.
