When you’re not married but deeply committed, whether you’ve been together for years or decades, share a home, raise kids, or build a life together, you’re justified in feeling like the law should recognize that. But in Washington state, if you’re not legally married or you and your partner have opted for a registered domestic partnership, the rules around estate planning won’t automatically work in your favor.
This matters more than unmarried couples often realize. Without a solid estate plan, one partner could end up shut out of major financial decisions or their home if the other becomes incapacitated or dies. The same could happen with an inheritance, even if the deceased person intended their partner to have it.
Fortunately, a Seattle estate planning lawyer can provide the appropriate legal documents to help unmarried couples like you. The following is a discussion of the most common estate planning pitfalls for unmarried couples in Washington state and suggestions for avoiding them.
Assuming You’ll Automatically Inherit
One of the most common mistakes is assuming your partner will inherit your assets if you pass away. In Washington, that’s not how it works.
If you die without a will (if you die “intestate”), Washington law dictates where your assets will go. The default list includes spouses, children, parents, and siblings — but not unmarried partners. That means your life partner could end up with nothing, even if you’ve lived together for decades.
As simple as the solution is, it’s still easy to overlook: You should create a will that clearly states who gets what. If you want your partner to inherit your home, savings, or anything else, that must also be in writing.
Should you neglect to do this, your assets and possessions may end up in the hands of your biological family, whether or not that reflects your actual wishes. A local estate planning attorney in Seattle can help you draft a will with the right language and protections in place.
Not Locking Down Property Ownership Details
Ownership of big-ticket items like your house can get messy without the proper protections. Maybe you bought the home together, but only one name is on the deed. Or perhaps you contributed equally but never formally documented it.
In Washington, only the titled owner will be recognized under the law unless you create a community property agreement or another formal ownership contract. That means if one partner dies, the other may have no legal right to even stay in the home, let alone inherit their share, something especially difficult in a high-cost housing market like Seattle.
It’s, therefore, worth talking to a Washington estate planning lawyer about how your property is titled. You might want to own it as joint tenants with rights of survivorship. This means that when one partner dies, the other automatically owns the whole property. Your estate planning attorney can also write up a cohabitation agreement, add provisions to your will, or create a trust to reflect what you both want.
Not Having Powers of Attorney in Place
If you or your partner becomes ill or injured and cannot make decisions, the other may have no legal authority to step in. That is, unless there are powers of attorney documents in place.
This matters in both financial and medical situations. Hospitals and banks often won’t even talk to an unmarried partner unless they’re specifically authorized. Washington law prioritizes legal next of kin (which might be your parents or siblings) when it comes to medical decision-making. Again, you may not want that. You may also want to make specific plans about what will happen after you die, which you can also lay out in advance.
To prevent confusion or your intentions from being carried out, both of you should sign durable powers of attorney — one for health care and one for finances — giving each other the legal right to act on the other’s behalf if needed. These are relatively simple documents.
Still, they are worth having as they can help you avoid wasting time and experiencing unnecessary stress and heartache during a crisis when you have other things to focus on, such as holding a bedside vigil or grieving. If you’re in the Seattle area, a local estate planning lawyer can walk you through everything you will need based on your relationship and your assets.
Forgetting Beneficiary Designations
Even if you write a tight will, some assets will bypass probate and go to your named beneficiary. This includes life insurance, retirement accounts, and certain bank accounts.
For example, if you still have your ex listed as a beneficiary on either your 401(k) or life insurance policy, or other account, that’s who will get the money, no matter what your will says. Likewise, if you don’t name anyone at all, your partner won’t receive it unless they’re a legal spouse or registered domestic partner, and what you have will, instead, pass to your legal heirs.
With this in mind, it’s worth taking a few minutes to check your beneficiary designations. Specifically, you should update them to name your partner if that’s what you want, and review them every few years (three to five years is best) or after life changes.
Checking your beneficiary designations and revisiting them periodically are two of the easiest estate planning steps you can take that can make a monumental difference in the quality of your or your partner’s life should the unimaginable occur. Your Seattle-area estate planning attorney can help you line up your estate plan with your beneficiary designations so they don’t contradict each other.
Assuming a Domestic Partnership is the Same as a Marriage
Washington does recognize registered domestic partnerships, but primarily for couples where at least one partner is 62 or older. So, if you’re younger and not legally married or registered, the state of Washington will consider you unmarried.
This is regardless of how long you’ve been together, how committed you are, how much you love each other, and what you intend to happen if it has only been the subject of discussion. Some couples think calling themselves “partners” or living together for a long time makes it official in the eyes of the law. Washington doesn’t recognize common-law marriage, so that’s not the case.
Don’t rely on assumptions or verbal agreements. If you want legal protections, you have to take legal steps, whether that means formalizing a domestic partnership (if eligible), getting married, or creating the correct estate planning documents. Again, a Seattle estate planning attorney can help direct you to the route that makes the most sense based on the specifics of your situation.
No Plan for Kids or Pets
If you’re raising children together (biological or adopted), or even if you’ve just adopted a pet together, not having clear legal arrangements in the event of your or your partner’s incapacitation or death can lead to confusion and conflict. For pets, you can provide financial support using a pet trust and designate who will care for them.
In blended or unmarried families, one partner may not have automatic parental rights. That can affect custody, decision-making, and inheritance. The same goes for pet ownership (pets are property under Washington law); if the legal owner dies, the other partner may not have any rights to keep the pet.
For kids, make sure there’s a guardianship plan in your will. If one partner is not the legal parent, talk to a Seattle family lawyer about adoption or parenting agreements for unmarried couples. For pets, you can include your pet in your will or set up a simple pet trust to make sure they stay with the person you both want.
Moreover, you may also want to account for what would happen if you and your partner die together or within a specific period of one another in a simultaneous death clause. Your Seattle estate planning lawyer can include the above criteria in your broader plan as you intend.
Letting a Discussion About Estate Planning Slide Because It’s Awkward or Unpleasant to Think About
Talking about estate planning can feel overly formal or even pessimistic, especially when things are going well in your relationship. But putting it off leaves you both more vulnerable to unexpected loss or conflict should one of you become incapacitated or die.
The good news is that you don’t have to figure everything out in one sitting. Just start the conversation. Once you’ve talked about what you both want, you can meet with a lawyer to see if your suggestions make legal sense and get the documents you need drafted. Working with someone local who understands Washington-specific estate planning law, including how it supports family law matters, can make the process smoother. A little planning can go a long way.
Talk to a Seattle Estate Planning Lawyer to Avoid Estate Planning Pitfalls Common to Unmarried Washington Couples
Estate planning for unmarried couples in Washington can feel like a gray area, but it doesn’t have to be. Though Washington law isn’t designed to protect unmarried partners by default, when you are proactive about your estate planning, when you put your intentions in writing and work with someone who understands how to make your intentions legally sound, you can protect yourself and everything you and your partner have built.
At Elise Buie Family Law, our team of Seattle estate planning attorneys has extensive experience creating Washington estate plans for unmarried couples. We can do that for you. Call us today or schedule a convenient time to speak.
