Are You Sure You Want a Divorce?

A child stressed about parents arguing in the background
Divorce isn’t something that anyone “wants” but it is frequently presented as a solution to insolvable marital issues. Divorce can be expensive, emotionally draining, and acrimonious. Sometimes divorce really is the best choice, but it is important to consider a few important factors when grappling with the decision to divorce
.     1.        What is your familial situation?
 If you have kids, divorce is by no means the end of communication with your spouse. It’s really the beginning of a whole new type of communication wherein you both are expected to navigate raising your children from a place of mutual understanding and respect. This can be incredibly difficult following a divorce. It is also important to think about the potential negative repercussions for your children if you of remain in a doomed marriage. What type of behavior is being modeled for your children? Are they witnessing severe arguing or a general sense of distain between you and your spouse? Divorce can be the best choice if children are being subjected to unhealthy emotional behavior.  Every child has different needs so it is important to assess in advance how to best support your children and their relationship with the other parent before actually getting divorced. 
2.         Have you sincerely tried to fix the problem(s)?
 Have you and your spouse attended marriage counseling? If not, that is a great place to start. It is also very important to recognize that the issues in a marriage are never entirely one person’s fault. To varying degrees, you both have inevitably contributed to the issues you face today. Taking responsibility for you actions and being accountable for your behavior in the future is the only healthy way to move forward, divorce or not. Do not leave stones unturned that you may regret later.
3          How will you handle the aftermath?
 How will divorce impact your financial situation? Here it is crucial to understand your legal rights in regards to child support and spousal maintenance. Do you and your spouse share debt? How will this be divided? In the scenario of divorce, can either of you afford to remain the family home? What does this mean for your children or schools? Do you and your potential ex spouse have similar values regarding the quality of childcare and education? Public or private school? Nanny or daycare?
This list is not exhaustive and every situation presents its own unique challenges but these are just a few fundamental questions to ask yourself if divorce is something you’re considering.

 Contact Elise Buie Family Law Group, PLLC if you would like to discuss your divorce options or your “stay together” options as well.


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