Can You Really Have It All? Did You Carve that Pumpkin?

A young girl peaking into a jack-o-lantern

Many feminist icons of the mid and late 90’s will tell you that you can have an amazing career, perfect marriage, and bake the best damn cookies for kindergarten play dates all at once. This is a lie. They are lying to you.

As soon as you let go of the idea that you even WANT it all, let alone can actually attain it, is when you start prioritizing and putting concerted effort towards the things that matter. Things that don’t matter: whether you bought those cookies while rushing into the store on a work call during your elusive lunch break, or baked them with a kitchen-aid, wearing an apron. 

If your career is something that you enjoy, feel passionate about, and it inspires personal growth, do not give it up. The best mothers are role models. Let me repeat, the BEST mothers are role models. In 2016, the vast majority of children do not aspire to sacrifice their passion and dreams to bake cookies or wipe every single runny nose, or sit with their sick child every single time. Your children are important and probably the most important thing in your entire life but they do not need to actually BE your entire life. 

Even with the most supportive and helpful partner, mothers with a demanding career will feel guilty, but this guilt does not need to consume you. Maintaining your personhood is an essential part of being a good mother and a good partner.

Finding some type of work/life balance is the key to success and happiness.

According to a presidential campaign reporter and new mother, “I was one of those naive people who thought motherhood was just another thing that you could juggle.” You should not be in a position where you are juggling motherhood or your career but rather removing yourself from your kids when necessary to be productive and turning off your phone when you really want to be focusing on your kids. Don’t half ass you career and your parenting, and as Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec so eloquently said, “don’t half ass two things, whole ass one.”

STAY UP TO DATE

Subscribe to our newsletters

 
Subscribe to one or more of our newsletters, delivering meaningful insight on topics that matter to you and your family.
ebl home subscribe image

FURTHER READING

Latest Blog Posts

If you and your partner reside in Washington state and are unmarried, you each might qualify for the legal protections availed to you by law by classifying your relationship as a committed intimate relationship.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your family is to build an estate plan while you are alive and well. Estate planning allows you to formally communicate your wishes so they will not be up for interpretation by…

A co-executor can help facilitate the distribution of assets, minimize conflicts, and provide much-needed support to grieving families.

The law makes it easy for people to get out of bad marriages. Washington, like most states, acknowledges no-fault divorce. This means that if you want a court to dissolve your marriage, all you have to do is file for…

Washington state’s laws on non-marital relationships, including committed intimate relationships (CIRs), can be convoluted, especially in the absence of a cohabitation agreement. Given the ambiguity that exists for unmarried partners in Washington state, thinking about the future and what it could look like is more important than ever. This is especially true in terms of aging, incapacity, and death. Fortunately, you can address each of these issues in a comprehensive estate plan.

Prenups and postnups can strengthen a marriage, given how they require relationship partners to put their cards on the table for each other to see, offering transparency and peace of mind. Despite their similarities, there are a few significant differences between the two.

Child support is one of the most contentious issues in divorce cases where parties have minor children. Even though Washington state law uses the same complex mathematical formula to determine the amount of child support for each child, there is…

Family law and estate planning often intersect. This is particularly true when contemplating divorce, remarriage, or blending families.

At some point during your divorce case, friends and family members whose own marriages ended in divorce probably told you that it gets better, and it does. Of course, from your perspective, getting out of a bad marriage might be…

Co-parenting over a long distance when you are a non-residential parent does not have to equate to sacrificing involvement in your children’s lives. But it likely does mean you will have to make tweaks in your communication and parenting style to accommodate the new living arrangement.