Divorce isn’t happy but divorce can teach us all a whole heck of a lot about happiness. For better or worse, divorce is one of the quickest ways to find out what is important to you. Negotiating a separation from a life partner really puts things into perspective regarding the fragility and unpredictability of life.
Often what feels important in life are actually the ways in which we define ourselves by our roles, degrees, jobs, race, gender, etc. For example, a woman may believe that the most important things in her life are her medical degree, her spouse, and her children. What happens when one or more of those things are lost? What happens when you no longer have a spouse? Or you lose your job or change career paths? Now how will you define what holds importance? Are YOU no longer important? We feel important when we are needed or desired and divorce can completely turn all of this on its head.
Divorce can strip you down to the core emotionally. In times like these the true angels in your life will appear to support you. Those who you may have previously thought were important fixtures in your life fall by the wayside as you are faced with the reality of who actually turns up in times of need. Often times in divorce, there are children who need you. They need your comfort, your guidance, and your assurance that everything will be all right. They are important. Last but not least, you are important. Divorce is a symbol of the loss of a life partner and it can be incredibly daunting to approach life solo but hold onto the knowledge that the most important the in your life is yourself. You deserve every moment of care and reprieve that you give yourself and probably much more. Self-care is a trendy phrase these days but there is no circumstance in which it is more applicable than in a divorce.