Don’t Listen to Bad Advice

Most of the time unsolicited advice is innocuous, but in the case of divorce, advice from well meaning but misinformed people can be harmful.

 

1. Encouraging acrimony
Especially if you feel slighted by your divorce, it is likely that those around you may encourage you to “fight” or be intentionally oppositional. This is really the worst kind of advice. It should never ever be your intention to “stick it “ to your partner. At times it may be temporarily gratifying but there are long-term consequences that will inevitably be more damaging to you than to them in the long run, not to mention that bad karma you will be inheriting.  

 

2. Maybe you should try to work things out

Unless you are making a decision to divorce impulsively or without having made sincere attempts to salvage your relationship, this advice can illicit feelings of shame. Of course you’ve tried to work things out. Divorce is not a sign of failure. Recognizing that you are in a marriage that is harmful and taking steps to end it is brave.

 

3. You should stay together because you have kids

This is yet another well-intentioned but misguided piece of advice. It is incredibly unhealthy for children to live in a home environment with parents who do not love each other in healthy ways.  Witnessing arguments, coldness, or a lack of respect between one’s parents is harmful.  Don’t force a marriage “for the sake of the kids.” Not only will this compromise your relationship with your child but it has the potential to impact their ability to form healthy relationships in the rest of their life.

STAY UP TO DATE

Subscribe to our newsletters

 
Subscribe to one or more of our newsletters, delivering meaningful insight on topics that matter to you and your family.

FURTHER READING

Latest Blog Posts

Many people find it challenging to get started with estate planning. From confusion about the process to denying that estate planning is necessary, there are various reasons why people do not want to create an estate plan. That said, estate…

After divorce, it is common to experience feelings of shame. That shame could arise from multiple sources, including feeling that you let your spouse or children down or because you are worried about what others may think of you. Regardless…

Estate planning can feel overwhelming, but it is necessary to ensure your assets are in order and your loved ones are taken care of. Establishing an estate plan can also make certain issues easier for you and your family during…

In Washington state, alimony is referred to as maintenance. Maintenance is court-ordered spousal support payments that one spouse makes to assist with the living expenses of the other spouse for a period of time and for a particular purpose.  Maintenance…

The homes. The boat. The investment accounts. During a high-net-worth divorce, the disposition of these and other assets (and debts) may be one of the most significant reasons underlying the contention between you and your soon-to-be-ex, making these types of…

This is part three of our three-part series, “Expecting the Unexpected.” You can read part one on catastrophic illness here and part two on chronic illness here. Estate planning may initially bring to mind the process of outlining the manner…

It seemed like it was going to be just another day. Get the kids off to school, do household chores, go to work. But then your spouse let you know it was over between you, that they want a divorce.…

This is part two of three in our series “Expecting the Unexpected. You can read part one on catastrophic illness here. For many, estate planning immediately brings to mind ways you can protect your assets and retirement funds for your…

When considering divorce, you may toy with the idea of representing yourself. For example, you may think your divorce will be relatively straightforward. Or maybe you consider yourself a savvy negotiator and highly intelligent. Or the idea of saving yourself…

While estate planning is often associated with enjoying assets while you are alive and then preparing for their disposition to inheritors after death, there are more outcomes estate plans can aid in to adequately protect the quality of your life…