New Year, New You: 5 Ways a Divorce Can Inspire Positive Change in Your Life

Post Divorce Financial Checklist

Every divorce is different and brings unique challenges. However, with every breakup comes a re-definition, a movement when you move from being a couple to an individual. While it is not unusual to experience feelings of loss, loneliness, or grief, this can also be a time of self-reflection and growth. So how do you ring in the New Year with a new and improved you? Today, I share my top five tips for moving on from divorce with grace, joy, and, yes, enthusiasm.

Move through, not against your feelings.

Your feelings are real. To move through and past them, first, you must allow yourself to experience those feelings. It is normal to ignore pain or suffering or pretend it is not happening by busying yourself with distractions. But by doing so, you only postpone the inevitable. Get the help you need; see a therapist, join a support group, or speak to clergy. Do whatever it takes to heal your heart. Give yourself the time, permission, and space to mourn your divorce.

Love yourself.

Remember your good qualities, what makes you who you are, including your values. Take a self-discovery trip, and focus on what makes you happy. It may mean re-discovering what you loved before your marriage and divorce or discovering new passions.

This process involves soul-searching. Have you always wanted to learn Italian? Run a marathon? Dye your hair blue? Now is the time. Remember what brings you joy and discover new paths back to it.

Make mistakes.

Without the other party in your life, you will be taking on a few new roles. That may mean managing money where you haven’t for quite a while, learning to fix your car, or taking care of the children on your own. Be prepared to reach outside your comfort zone and allow yourself to make mistakes. It is all part of growing and learning. Change and growth can feel uncomfortable. Remind yourself to push past the fear or discomfort.

Set goals.

Know what you want and plan the steps you will need to take to get there. Start a journal to keep track of ideas. Permit yourself to ask for what you want and believe in yourself. You have the power to actualize those dreams.

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude

Studies repeatedly show that people who focus on gratitude feel happier. According to Harvard Medical School, gratitude “helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.” Fortunately, there are many ways to express gratitude in your life.

You can consciously make an effort to thank others. Keep a journal to record the simple gifts you receive every day. Develop a daily mindfulness practice, meditation, or prayer. Then, before you know it, feeling grateful will become as natural as breathing, which is perhaps the most valuable gift we get each day — life and the possibilities it brings.

Our experienced attorneys are here to help you change your life. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.

STAY UP TO DATE

Subscribe to our newsletters

 
Subscribe to one or more of our newsletters, delivering meaningful insight on topics that matter to you and your family.
ebl home subscribe image

FURTHER READING

Latest Blog Posts

Child support is one of the most contentious issues in divorce cases where parties have minor children. Even though Washington state law uses the same complex mathematical formula to determine the amount of child support for each child, there is…

Family law and estate planning often intersect. This is particularly true when contemplating divorce, remarriage, or blending families.

At some point during your divorce case, friends and family members whose own marriages ended in divorce probably told you that it gets better, and it does. Of course, from your perspective, getting out of a bad marriage might be…

Co-parenting over a long distance when you are a non-residential parent does not have to equate to sacrificing involvement in your children’s lives. But it likely does mean you will have to make tweaks in your communication and parenting style to accommodate the new living arrangement.

If you have a significant amount of money saved, you might be considering giving some of it away while you are still alive via what is known in estate planning jargon as a living inheritance. Depending on your desires, you can give your beneficiaries a portion of or all of the inheritance you intend to give them.

Estate planning is commonly associated with preparing for asset distribution and financial management in the event of the estate plan owner’s incapacitation or death. However, an estate plan can protect more than just people and what they have worked so hard during their lifetimes to build. A carefully crafted Washington state estate plan can also protect pets.

Despite being divorced, you may still be able to collect social security benefits through your ex-spouse. Even if you went through a high-conflict divorce or are not on good terms with your ex-spouse currently, they cannot stop you from collecting these benefits if you are eligible. Likewise, your ex-spouse does not need to permit you to apply for social security benefits or have previously completed an application themselves.

If you live in Washington State and have an estranged family member, are you worried about them contesting your will after you die? Well, don’t worry quite yet. There are a variety of criteria an individual must meet to contest a will in the state of Washington.

Depending on your situation, there might also be measures you can take as you revisit your existing estate plan or create a new one to cause them to think twice about doing so. Here is what you need to know about whether an estranged family member can contest a will in Washington state.

When parents go through a divorce, child custody can be one of the hardest issues to deal with. But increasingly in American households, pets are part of the family, and separating can create similar concerns over who gets the family pet.

As a Seattle entrepreneur, you’ve undoubtedly dedicated countless hours and resources to building a successful business. You’ve dotted all of your I’s and crossed all of your T’s. But have you considered what will happen to your business after you're…