Staying in a Bad Marriage for Too Long

The reasons people divorce are many, but there are also many reasons why someone may stay in an unhappy marriage for far longer than they should. Sometimes a person may be “too good”, sticking to rules they grew up with about how marriage is supposed to work even when one person is clearly breaking them.


A Dear Abbey letter shows a case in point. One man in a 40 years marriage has had enough. According to the letter, his wife doesn’t take care of herself or the house, belittles him often, and they have slept in the same bed for 20 years. She doesn’t cook, clean, and spends money frivolously. She also refuses to go to counseling because she believes she doesn’t have a problem.


He says he would seek a divorce but can’t afford one, and that he could have had an affair long ago but wouldn’t go through with it. The advice that he received is that he should go see a counselor himself to find out why he stayed in a marriage like that for so long. It was also recommended that he receive advice from an attorney about the spending.


People who grew up in a broken home themselves may be extremely reluctant to pursue divorce. They may remember all the ugliness that happened and make a promise to themselves to never repeat the same thing. But sometimes it is healthier to end a relationship than to let it go on unhappily. Counseling is an excellent first step.


Do you need assistance finding marriage counseling resources in the area? Contact Elise Buie Family Law Group, PLLC for a free consultation, or check out our list of recommended reading materials about marriage and divorce on our webpage.

STAY UP TO DATE

Subscribe to our newsletters

 
Subscribe to one or more of our newsletters, delivering meaningful insight on topics that matter to you and your family.

FURTHER READING

Latest Blog Posts

There are various ways to plan for the handling of your remains after death, as we discussed in Part I of “How to Handle Remains in Washington State.” What option you choose will likely turn on some combination of your…

Death is a part of life. Like taxes, there's no avoiding it. Also, like taxes, you may not like thinking or talking about the subject. However, if you think about death and how to handle your remains from a planning…

Every child deserves love, stability, and consistency. Is there a child in your life that you have considered adopting, perhaps because they are the child of your spouse or a child you are fostering? Perhaps there is an adult in…

The thought of losing your home or its contents in a disaster is a scary thought. Loss of life, destruction of irreplaceable items such as home movies, photos, and heirlooms make it unconscionable. But as we know in life, sometimes…

Spoiler alert: If you’re doing everything around the house (or at work) because you’re living (working) with a bunch of incompetent fools, or so they’ve led you to believe they are, you’re being manipulated. So pervasive is this phenomenon, there’s…

If you've created an estate plan, you've already spent a good deal of time thinking about what will happen to you if you become sick, incapacitated, or die, including where you will go (literally) when you die. After all, you don't want your…

If you're 18 or older and live in Washington State, you can legally change your name to anything you want as long as you're not doing so to commit fraud. For example, if your goal is to change your name to evade…

Your estate plan should ensure your special needs child experiences the best quality of life they can, that the assets upon which they will rely will last as long as possible during their lifetime, and that their eligibility for public services will be maximized. Learn more.

Popular culture is using the moniker "America's daughter" to describe Gabby Petito because she could've been any of our daughters. Learn how to talk to your daughter about the signs of domestic abuse.

When a couple decides to divorce, and one spouse is unable to support themselves, spousal support becomes a hot-button issue. Learn how to mitigate conflict and move forward.