Step Families Take Time and Space to Gel

As we sat around our dinner table last night discussing a variety of topics ranging from Trump’s hateful rhetoric to a discussion around racism/classicism to the cost of a loaf of bread in Washington DC, it became very clear to my husband and I that our “little” (well not so little as we share 6 children between us – 3 girls and 3 boys – 2 oldest girls are my husband’s daughters and the 4 younger ones are mine) step family consisting of kids from 14 years old to 24 years old (yes we are firmly ensconced in the teenager/young adult milieu) had developed rhythms and relationships over the years that are uniquely their own.  My husband and I have been consistently open to the kids’ needs through the years.  Sometimes, one child does not want to go to a birthday dinner or does not want to participate in a big family discussion.  We have not forced their relationships, we simply invite the kids when we do things and let them each know that they are quite important to us.  It was one of our sweetest moments when we watched my 19 year old son drive off with his sister, youngest brother and his step-sister on a mission to find awesome ice cream and cookies.  Of course, they headed to Hello Robin.  My husband and I both sat back, a bit misty-eyed, watching two-thirds of our gang of tall, smart, healthy, opinionated, unique and funny kids go off together looking for ice cream.  No they are not all best friends and they surely have differences as they were raised in different homes but they have all done a remarkable job of relating to each other on their own terms. 


We are so grateful for this time together.  I am planning to get their picture updated this Christmas as this photo is the only one we have of all of them and it is from five years ago.  Today, all three boys will tower over everyone.  Time just marches on.

Are you struggling with step family dynamics?  Contact us.


If you or someone you know someone who is struggling with step family dynamics, please refer them to our website.  I am happy to coach families in this regard to help parents and step parents navigate these tricky relationships. 

STAY UP TO DATE

Subscribe to our newsletters

 
Subscribe to one or more of our newsletters, delivering meaningful insight on topics that matter to you and your family.

FURTHER READING

Latest Blog Posts

Death is a part of life. Like taxes, there's no avoiding it. Also, like taxes, you may not like thinking or talking about the subject. However, if you think about death and how to handle your remains from a planning…

Every child deserves love, stability, and consistency. Is there a child in your life that you have considered adopting, perhaps because they are the child of your spouse or a child you are fostering? Perhaps there is an adult in…

The thought of losing your home or its contents in a disaster is a scary thought. Loss of life, destruction of irreplaceable items such as home movies, photos, and heirlooms make it unconscionable. But as we know in life, sometimes…

Spoiler alert: If you’re doing everything around the house (or at work) because you’re living (working) with a bunch of incompetent fools, or so they’ve led you to believe they are, you’re being manipulated. So pervasive is this phenomenon, there’s…

If you've created an estate plan, you've already spent a good deal of time thinking about what will happen to you if you become sick, incapacitated, or die, including where you will go (literally) when you die. After all, you don't want your…

If you're 18 or older and live in Washington State, you can legally change your name to anything you want as long as you're not doing so to commit fraud. For example, if your goal is to change your name to evade…

Your estate plan should ensure your special needs child experiences the best quality of life they can, that the assets upon which they will rely will last as long as possible during their lifetime, and that their eligibility for public services will be maximized. Learn more.

Popular culture is using the moniker "America's daughter" to describe Gabby Petito because she could've been any of our daughters. Learn how to talk to your daughter about the signs of domestic abuse.

When a couple decides to divorce, and one spouse is unable to support themselves, spousal support becomes a hot-button issue. Learn how to mitigate conflict and move forward.

To date, 676,000 people in the US have died from COVID-19, many parents of minor children. Without a will there is no instruction on who should care for them. Make your wishes known, learn how.