Why you should probably let go of the idea of fairness

 
There is nothing fair about divorce. Whether you or your spouse initiated the divorce, is it probable that you married this person with the intention of growing old together and that is no longer a possibility. That itself is unfair.
 
As far as the divorce process goes, being hung up on everything ending up perfectly fair will leave you miserable. The laws are not fair and neither are many of the requests you will most likely receive from your ex. Rather than focusing on fairness, it may be best to select a few key priorities that you feel most strongly about and then be willing to make large, and seemingly unfair, concessions on the rest.
 
Parenting is a more complicated issue and is unfortunately an area of divorce that frequently seems unfair. Your ex-spouse may have never taken your children to a soccer game but is now seeking a 50/20 shared residential schedule. Unless they are truly unfit to parent or lack all emotional bond with the child, this is yet another example of how dwelling on the unfairness will make you unhappy rather than serve a productive purpose.
 
Divorce is a great exercise in being the bigger person. Fighting over material objects is probably a waste of money in the end as it is costing you legal fees.  Fighting over your children simply harms them for life, don’t do it.

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