Family and Parenting

Children often act out during a divorce. Some behaviors are more noticeable than others, meaning subtle changes in your child can slip past you if you’re not looking for them. It’s not surprising how this can happen. When you go through the divorce process, it may feel as though your world is moving a mile a minute, and you’re struggling just to keep up. Divorce involves rebuilding your life, home, and sometimes career, all while negotiating the dissolution of your marriage. Because of this, it’s easy not to be cognizant of how your children are holding up.

You’d be surprised at how what you say and how you say it can make or break a discussion. As a family and divorce lawyer, writer, communicator, and a once-divorced (I’ve since remarried) co-parenting mom myself, I know how the slightest alteration in my speech can produce a different outcome in a conversation. Those “alternative endings,” in turn, can do a lot of damage by derailing my day, my week, and, most significantly, negatively impact my children’s lives in a very profound and direct manner. That’s why I’m careful about how I speak to my ex. And he’s not even a bad guy.

When you’re married, orchestrating and celebrating a major holiday like Thanksgiving can be challenging, and when you’re first divorced, even more so. However, there’s no reason why Thanksgiving needs to be sad following a divorce — for you or those around you. If you’re up for it, you can take steps to make the experience more comfortable, perhaps even better than it was before. I know because I, too, was divorced and once in your shoes. Here are a few ideas.